Sunday, April 4, 2010

Self-fulfilling Prophecies

Self-Fulfilling prophecy: a false definition of a situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true. Robert Milton

Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns! ~Allison Gappa Bottke

Friday evening a friend shared in a group the above thought about self-fulfilling prophecy, and I knew immediately that he was speaking the truth. I have seen it played out over and over in lives of those around me. I know there is power in words, and we can talk ourselves into having a bad day or bad month or even into being sick. I shudder at remarks that I hear like, "this ice cream is going straight to my hips," or "my shoulder is killing me." However, I have to rigorously look at what prophecies I have been speaking over my own life. There have been many--some I have carried since childhood and others that have come up through recent trials. If you read far enough back in this blog you will find negative posts. Grief is a seductive thing, tempting one into making grief her identity and coloring every aspect of her life. This sets the girl on the path to hell. I must be very careful with my words. I do not want what I have been thinking lately, to come true.

This painting is Peaches and Hollyhocks. I painted it in my still-life phase and it took me a long time to finish and by then I couldn't stand to look at it so I put away. One day I got it out and decided I liked it and entered it in the fair, where it won a rosette. While I struggled with some of the flowers, I love the textures: the fuzzy peaches, smooth teapot and as always the vase with water. That is what draws me into still lifes-- reflective and transparent surfaces. How do I paint a vase of water? The only way that makes sense to me. It looks complicated with the light bouncing around inside of the vase and reflected on the outside, but it simple really. I paint the background first then backside of the vase and then the stems, remembering the distortion caused by the water on all these things. Then I paint the front. Simple. Vases never give me any trouble--it usually the flowers.

Some one asked me what CWCW means in my posts. It is based on a Zen saying: "Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood carry water." This means to take care of business, instead of waiting for a blinding flash to come to me, or warm fuzzies, or motivation to get things done-- just do it. I had somewhat of an enlightening moment when I realized that I have been way too worried about being alone. I am alone now; but, except for God and friends who are vital to me, all I have is me, my home, and my art and I have not been taking care of any of those. Sometimes I even forget to feed the dog, and an African violet suffered an agonizing death under my care. Gotta pay more attention to CWCW.

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