Dream big but stay tethered to reality.

One man's daydreaming is another man's day. ~Grey E. Livingston
I feel I was always daydreaming, and I was always distracted. ~Kathryn Lasky
Realty is for people who can't do drugs. ~Written on a bathroom wall
Sometimes I see someone living my dream but it's not me and I wonder how that happened. ~Maxie Lee

Sometimes we lie to our kids.  We tell them that they can be, do, have anything they want if they dream big and work hard.  In my era, parents told kid they could even become the president of the United States.  Think about it. We will soon elect our 44th president since 1789. And how many kids are there? Certainly any kid could become president, but maybe we should help them to shoot towards a more realistic goal.

Reality can be harsh.  Even if we dream, work, pray, and believe, it still doesn't always work out. As an artist with a very active imagination, I dream a lot. I also have faith, and I pray and believe. Then crash to the earth. There are times that inspirational quotes (which I love) and positive thinking are not enough. My heart still gets broken.

So what do we tell our kids? ourselves? those who have crashed? What is the truth we need to know? 

Island of Dreams Acrylic 8 x 10

You are unique. Even though you share the same DNA with others past and present, no one has the exact same markers as you do, even if you are a twin. There never has ever been anyone exactly like you nor will there ever be.  You hold a special place in the universe. Be yourself--learn who that is and be it.  “You are the only you God made... God made you and broke the mold.” ~ Max Lucado

Think positive.  It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full as long as you pay the water bill and can easily refill it.  We are surrounded with negativity, despair and painful experiences, and how we get through stuff is what energy we want to apply to the situations --negative or positive. This is not denying reality-- it is choosing how we are going to react to it. “Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.” ~ Charles F. Glassman

Count your blessings. While reality can be harsh, it also showers us with wonderful  things. Focusing on what we don't have only keeps us in dire need.  Choosing to look at the good opens us up to possibilities and possessions we had never before considered. "Better to lose count naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles."  ~Maltie Babcock.

Be kind. Treat people how we want to be treated, with a ready smile, kind words and acts of service. No, our kindness is not always automatically returned to us; in fact it sometimes generate hatefulness, but be kind anyway.  Because most folks do respond positively to kindness.  And be kind to yourself.  ~"No act of kindness is ever wasted." Aesop

Believe in a Higher Power.  

Forgive

Racism and good story...

Racism. It is easy to focus on the injustices in society. It makes us cry, rage and want to get even. It makes us want to blame. But how about the good stories? There are millions of them I think because there are people like me who aren't racist. Surely there are.

Do you think I am really racist and in denial? Let me tell how I formed my opinion about different ethnic groups. I think my parents might have had a little prejudice against certain people but it was very minor and for the most part I was allowed to come to my own conclusions.

Three things happened when I was seventeen shaped my opinion about race and injustice for the rest of my life: 1. It was during the volatile time of integration in the South when I saw on the front page of our northern newspaper a photo of a white cop hitting a black person with a billy club. 2. My history teacher showed films of Jews being liberated from death camps. 3. I read Grapes of Wrath.

All those things broke my heart. These events set me on lifelong journey of learning about racism, injustice, poverty and what was done to the Native Americans. Not only that but I educated myself on the Crusades, Inquisition, Holocaust and marauding people like the Huns and the Vikings.

My conclusion is that there is only once race responsible for prejudice, cruelty and injustice... the human race. But I am part of the human race too and so are you. How can we make a difference in the face of overwhelming brutality? .

I believe in what Gandhi said: be the change in your own little corner of the world. Corrie Ten Boom did that. Mother Theresa did that. Father Damien did that. Susan B. Anthony did that. William Wilberforce did that. Gino Bartelli did that. There are so many more. There are many good stories.
This is a good story. Share this story.

The great chicken experiment-- revised.

My husband and I moved onto five acres of dirt in western Oklahoma, with  great expectations of it being a nice little farm, but all it ever could be was five acres of dirt with a high maintenance house. I never worked so hard in my whole life with so little results. There were so many things that had to be cleared out and repaired that I worked myself to exhaustion

We planted a huge garden but it was wrecked by drought and a grasshopper plague  Green beans and tomatoes bloomed and bloomed but never produced fruit, I think the grass hoppers either ate the undeveloped fruit or scared away the bees needed to pollinate the plants. The only thing that produced was okra. We ate it stewed, fried and pickled. Hub was out of work that summer and the only meat available to us was what we could find my in-law's freezer which consisted mostly of frog legs.  Frog legs, okra and pinto beans was our diet. I despised eating amphibians but I did because I was hungry and I haven't touched the stuff since. Not fond of okra either.

  
We also launched what I will forever refer to as the Great Chicken Experiment.  We decided we were going to raise chickens to butcher and sell to raise some extra cash.  Actually my husband decided, and as always I said, "Oh, OK"--I was such an obedient wife.  There was a sudden cold snap so we started out with the garage full of baby chicks under heat lamps, which immediately fell prey to raccoons.  Raccoons may look cute but they can be mean when you try to take away their dinner and I recall Hub driving one off one night and the raccoon actually fought back. We put the young pullets in the chicken house with a sturdy fence to keep the coons out and kept the light going all night to help them grow fast.
  
Ginger was a wired-haired terrier--a wonderful dog. She considered that little farm her personal responsibility and she watched out for the kids, the cats and Ahab the goat. When the goat got into stuff he shouldn't or started pulling clothes off the line, Ginger would alert me with her barking.  Ahab couldn't get away with anything.  
  
We ran low on chicken feed and  let the chickens out to scratch; at first they didn't know they were free and stayed huddled in the pen.  But when a hen started to venture out, Ginger chased her back in, then another would leave the pen, or two or three, only to be pushed back in by the dog.  Ginger spent a whole day herding chickens until she wore herself out and had to be satisfied with lying on a rise watching over the hens pecking around outside the pen.

Before long we started mysteriously loosing hens and one night I discovered that owls were flying in and stealing our birds, in spite of the the light remaining on all night. I had to install wire over the chicken yard.

We did sell some pullets, but they had to be butchered and that work fell to the women folk and the kids. It is not easy work because chickens like to hang onto their feathers even though they no longer need them. Because coons, owls and other mishaps ate into our profits we didn't make any cash and I was happy to go out of business. 

In fact, I was happy when we left that place because it truly was a hard luck farm. I have to say that it was an unforgettable time and I could write a book on our experiences there-- good, bad and horrible or sell the screen rights. But today I am remembering the chickens.

#chickens #hardluck #

Know thyself... Chess anyone?

All I want to do, ever, is just play chess.  Bobby Fischer
Chess is a fairy tale of 1001 blunders.  Tartakower
Chess is mental torture.  Garry Ksporov

There was a time that I wanted to learn to play chess. I was captivated by the aesthetic appearance of the game-- the beautiful pieces that moved in different directions; the fairy tale quality of kings, knights and castles, and white versus black.  I am smart and tend to be an overachiever so I didn't see any reason why I couldn't play the game.  After all I taught myself how to paint and draw and all sorts of things from  books-- chess should be a breeze.

I did what I always did then when I wanted to know something, I went to the library. (the pre-Google resource center.) I checked out books on playing chess and studied them; I learned how the pieces moved, how to open with the queen's gambit, and how to castle the king.  I picked up a chess board and taught my children how to play so I could have opponents. Much to my chagrin, I was was soundly beaten. By little kids.  Every. Single. Time. 

The thing that I didn't fully understand is that chess is game of strategy. A player needs to have an idea of the possible outcomes of her move before she even touches a piece. I always drew a blank on that.  I could have taken the pieces and written a story of magic, beauty and rescuing royalty, or I could have designed a unique chess set, but in playing the game I couldn't defend a two inch plastic king.

It never occurred to me until recently--as in last night as I was going to bed-- that left-brained dominant players would succeed more easily at chess than I did, because of their ability to process math, logic, and strategy. Using my phone before I went to sleep, I went to Google (the post-library resource center) and found that this theory is true.  I am an artist--right brained. If you looked at my life you would see my strategy skills are pretty pathetic and flights of imagination interfere with any tactical abilities I might have to engage successfully in any situation. 

However, I learned in my late night research, that had I continued to play chess, my brain would have balanced out and I would have eventually been able to play with some success and I might even have been more successful in other areas of my life. This post is not intended to discourage any one.  Chess would be wonderful for anyone mildly interested, if a balanced brain can be a result.  

Knowing this now should I take up the game now? Nah.  The world needs rocket scientists, brain surgeons, and chess players, but it also needs artists, so I think I'll just do that.

#Chess  #BeYourself #Artist #Brain

You are what the government tells you to eat...

We’ve been told to swap eggs for Cheerios. But that recommendation is dead wrong. Mark Hyman MD
“Oh, God above, if heaven has a taste it must be an egg with butter and salt." Frank McCourt

Why is the US government in the business of telling us what to eat anyway? Hasn't it enough to do with things it was given charge of like protecting the borders and managing the debt? I don't trust an entity that makes decisions based on information from powerful drug lobbies, corrupt politicians and crazies with wild ideas and the money to promote it, and I am certainly not going to let them tell me what to eat.

And then there's medical profession. New studies say that eating cholesterol, as in eggs, doesn't affect a person's cholesterol so the government changed it's guidelines on the matter.  This isn't the first time the Meds have misled the people.  What about the low calorie diet? I was given those diets by doctors-- eat less and lose weight. If I don't lose it or if I lose it and gain it right back, it must be my fault, right?  Because they said, all you gotta do is go on a diet.  Then after 20 years of yo-yo dieting, the Doctors said, oh that is not right! When you severely cut back on calories the body thinks there's a famine and reacts by slowing down the metabolism to protect your life. Huh? And so when you resume eating normally, the pounds come back with reinforcements. And after 20 years of that, the metabolism almost ceases to exist. And what it does to the self esteem is incalculable. The only good thing that came out of my years of battling the bulge is the exercise I learned to do which resulted in a low resting heart rate and blood pressure. It's a  practice I continue today.

We are told to eat healthy (watch our cholesterol).  So what the heck is that anyway? I'll go out to eat with people and while I am chowing down on a cheeseburger (I stopped worrying about cholesterol a long time ago) my lunch mates are virtuously eating a nice fluffy salad, talking about their healthy diet. After 20 years of my own virtuous eating of raw roughage, I am burned out on salads. While I do eat salads when I am served them outside the home, I no longer kid myself into thinking that they will make me slimmer or healthier. Or that eating them in public will make me appear healthy.

When people look at me they might think I am in bad health and at risk for a myriad of diseases because I carry extra weight. That is a myth. God created different body types so why wouldn't he grant each one the ability to be healthy? I spent my whole life fighting my curves because society says I am flawed and not beautiful because of them and the Feds and the Meds say I must be sickly.  I have stopped fighting what God gave me and I have stopped destroying my metabolism and self-esteem with diets. I am attempting to erase those messages in my hard drive that say that I am less than, and not good enough simply because I take up a little more space on this planet. I am listening to my own drum and guidance from the Spirit who created me.

This post isn't anti-doctor. I have a wonderful doctor, who has been a great help to me, but when he told me to just eat healthy and directed me to a website that was just another diet, I chose to listen to my own drum. I supplement medicines he gives me with herbs and vitamins.

The point of this rant if you made it this far? Think for yourself. It is your health and your body; don't swallow hook, line and sinker information sanctioned by the government and passed down to you by women's magazines, drug ads and overworked doctor's offices. God didn't use a cookie cutter to create us so don't apply cookie cutter medicine to yourself. Do your research and take what applies to you and leave the rest. Be who you are. Walk strong and tall.

#diets #cholesterol #doctors #overweight #tothyownselfbetrue

Angels Unawares

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrew 13:2 

Insight is better than eyesight when it comes to seeing an angel. ~ Eileen Freeman

The wings of angels are often found on the backs of the least likely people. 
~Eric Honeycutt
Once I traveled across the state with a friend, driving on icy roads most of the way. I told him he was a fortunate man because I had some powerful guardian angels looking after me. 

This blog post is about a couple of angel encounters.  Once I stumbled and fell sideways landing on my hip, and I swear it felt like I  landed on a pile of pillows--I felt sorry for the angel I squished, though. I like to think that when I'm driving, angels are perched on the car riding with the wind blowing though their hair and robes.  

Once many years ago I drove an Audi, which I loved. My husband hated working on foreign cars so I had trouble getting him to look at it and my son and I learned to work on it ourselves.  There was one thing we couldn't figure out--the car would die for no reason, leaving me stranded forcing me to find a pay phone to call Hub to rescue me and of course it would always start for him when he got there; he thought I was just too dumb to drive the car and refused to do more than to scold me for not putting gas in it.  


One day I was on my way to an important meeting driving on the freeway approaching  a major interchange when the car died in heavy traffic; I managed to pull it over to the shoulder. To the left of me beyond six lanes of traffic and a fence I could see  a convenience store; to the right was a fence and open field and in front of me the interchange loomed.  I started to cry and pound on the steering wheel, telling God that He knew how important it was for me to attend this event.  Suddenly I saw a car pull up behind me. It was a white late model car but I can't tell you what kind it was and the driver, who approached me was an ordinary looking guy with dark hair and beard wearing casual summer clothes.  He was very no-nonsense. He asked me what the trouble was and when I told him he opened the hood and poked around. He asked me if I had any tools and I said "No." He went back to his car and returned with a screw driver and explained to me that the front hose clamp on the fuel line was broken allowing air into the gas.  He also said that the rear clamp wasn't as critical so he was going to take it off and put it on the front and I needed to get the rear one replaced as soon as I could. He quickly fixed it and walked back to his car.  I was so excited to get the car running that I didn't thank him properly and after I got back into the car I saw that the white car was gone.  Just like that.  He wasn't behind me or ahead of me.  Other things were out of the ordinary.  The quick diagnosis, speedy repair and the guy was clean.  Mechanic's hands I usually stained but his was not.  When I got home I told my husband, that he wouldn't fix my car so God sent an angel. He didn't believe me.  But he replaced the rear fuel line.

Angel number two. Actually there were at least 4 angels involved in this episode which happened when my husband was in Sacred Heart hospital in Spokane after a heart attack.  When he was moved from ICU to a regular room I went home for a rest and decided a couple of days later to visit him.  My old Ford Taurus had a similar issue as the Audi, but only in hot weather, but it was a lovely day so I thought it would be safe to drive the car 70 miles to Spokane.  By the time I got into the city I knew I was in trouble because the temperature was in the 90's; however I pushed on praying that the car wouldn't die.  I managed to drive all the way across town in heavy traffic and made it to the medical center.  I was headed for the main entrance of the hospital to have concierge park the car for me as I was walking with a cane at that time.  The main entrance to the hospital is on the same circle drive as a medical clinic and a parking garage, and the traffic in the circle is always congested. I entered the drive and got as far as the parking garage and the car died--blocking the entrance.  The car was on an upward slope and already traffic was piled up behind me preventing the car from rolling backwards out of the way.  I knew it would be at least 20 minutes before the Ford would start again-- a bad situation.  I only freaked out for about a minute, though, before a young man approached my window to tell me that he and his friends were willing to push my car out of the way.  I was so relieved; they pushed it up the slope to a spot that was opened in front of the clinic next to a sign that said, "Patient Pick Up Only;" I figured that I could pretend that I was waiting for someone, but I didn't have to fake it for long because soon the young man was back to tell me that there was a parking space available on the other side of the circle and they would be willing to push me over there. A  young pregnant woman stood in the parking spot to make sure no one would take it while the guys pushed my car around.  After I thanked them profusely and assured them that the car would start when it cooled off, they went the center of the circle where there was a patch of grass and sat down under a tree. Why a group of college age folks were hanging in that strange patch of grass, I cannot imagine except for one reason-- God sent them there to help me.  I told my husband about the angels but he wasn't any more impressed by that story than the first one I told him years before.  Instead he scolded me for taking off in that car in the first place.

One day when I move on to the other life, I'm sure I'll hear more stories of how angels intervened in ways I am not aware of now, but for now I'll will just continue to believe that angels are active in my life.

#Angels #BrokeDownCars

Home Buying Etiquette

The fourth season of my house on the market is winding down, and if a miracle of an offer doesn't come through in two weeks, I have to do this all over again in the spring. While many buyers and agents are respectful, others are not and need sound advice. I have searched the internet for a guide to good house-hunting manners and I didn't find much, just bits and pieces here and there, so this blog post is my own guide based on my experiences.

These are not in any particular order because they are all important:
1. Always REMEMBER that you're a guest in someone else's home. Don't think that because they are offering the home for sale, that you can do anything you want in it and that they have to put up with you. It is in your best interest not to tick the seller off because if it comes down to negotiating a deal, she will remember how you treated her and her home. Look at it this way. If you are at Walmart buying a coffee maker, you study the package,  make a decision based on the information given you and buy it on the faith it will be a good coffee maker. Just try opening the package and making a pot of coffee, to check it out, right there in the appliance section of the store and see how that goes over.

Bob's House Pencil 8 x 10

2. Use common courtesy; say hello when you get there and thank you when you leave. You don't have to stand around and chat but don't act like the home-owner is just another piece of furniture.
3. Ask, ask, ask, before you do anything. Certainly you need to know--in a general way--the size of the closets or maybe what the inside of the cabinets look like or even the inside of the refrigerator, but anything beyond a quick glance into personal spaces on the first visit is inappropriate.You don't need to see how clean the oven is.  If you want to check things out further ask the home owner if it is OK. REMEMBER that the home owner filled out a seller's disclosure of any problems with the house-- take it on face value. REMEMBER that it is doubtful that you will make an offer on a first visit. If the house makes your short list then when you go back you can flush toilets, check crawl spaces and measure closets, but only after you ask the homeowner for permission. Ask before taking pictures. Also REMEMBER that before you get to closing there will be an inspection by a professional; anything awry with the house will show up then, so it is not really necessary to do a thorough inspection yourself unless you get a kick out doing such things. But ask first. This goes back to Rule Number One-- you don't want to get into a bad place with someone you might have to negotiate with. That's plain dumb,
4. You don't have to look for flaws as an excuse not to buy the home; if you are not interested just say thank you and leave. A young woman viewed my house and was excited about it and wanted come back with her parents. I could tell by the look on dad's face when he arrived he was not impressed with the place and after they spent a long time downstairs he came up and told me the toilet ran slow and asked if I had plumbing problems. I told him the  house had no plumbing problems; the toilet was just old.  He said he thought I had roots in the sewer line, and I told him that we treated the lines regularly that they were fine. He told his daughter's agent (who never showed this house to anyone else again.) that I had plumbing problems, who related that to my agent who was very concerned. My son had to install a new toilet, on his nickel, to prove there was nothing wrong with the lines. Don't make trouble for the homeowner or almost call her a liar. If you don't want the house move on.

Home of Canadian Artist Emily Carr in Victoria BC

5. Don't make negative comments about the house while you are in or near the home. Most people actually like their homes. If you like something it is OK to drop a compliment or two--homeowners appreciate it, but don't criticize things within earshot of the person who is holding her dog back so it won't eat you.
6. If it is muddy out offer to remove your shoes. Or at least wipe your feet on the rug provided.
7. Show up. The seller went to a lot of effort to make the house presentable, so you can at least look at it, even if you're pretty sure that you want the cute little cottage on the corner. And be on time. If you have an unavoidable conflict make sure your agent calls the home-owner.
8. You are looking at the house, not the peoples stuff. Some people are minimalists, some absolutely love nick-knacks and others are clutter bugs so just look at the house. There was a time when a seller was expected to "stage" the home so the buyers just can see the house as theirs. That was OK if you sell within a few mouths but in a bad economy where houses remain on the market for years, it is unreasonable to expect the homeowner to stage it to your liking. I had stuff packed in the shed for two years that I needed in the house because well meaning people told me I must put my personal things away; my agent never asked me to do that. I don't intend to do that again. Just look at the house.
9. If you have to use the restroom, hold it until you get somewhere else. I came home after a showing and found large muddy footprints (see number 6) leading through the house and into the bathroom where the toilet seat was up. That is not cool.
10. Leave your entourage at home on the first visit, certainly two or three people looking at the house is appropriate, but not all the kids and grandma too. Don't make the homeowner clean up foot prints and finger prints after you're gone. And kids touch things. If you want to come back for a second look, I suggest that you bring those people who weren't there in the first visit.
11. Use my agent.  Some people act like agents are greedy ogres, but they earn their commissions. They have access to resources such as MLS listings on the internet, real estate magazines and agent showings. They do all the paper work too. If you like doing all that stuff and want to sell your house yourself, that is fine, but to see my house, use my agent.
12. Use my agent.  Don't show up in my yard out of the blue and want to see the house on the side. I don't know you from a tweaker, so I am not going to let you in the house. Call the number on the sign. Oh, that's another reason I have an agent, to screen lookers.

Snowy Day Pencil 8 x 10 

13. Use. My. Agent. Don't think because you know me, that I am going to give you a deal. A lady from my church approached me. Her cousin, whom I've never met, had looked at my house; because he is disabled and can't afford my asking price, he asked her to ask me if I would take it off the market and sell it to him myself so he could save the money I would pay in commissions. And she was persistent about it. Let me get this straight... you want me to do all the details and paperwork involved in closing on a house so he could get the money? Yeah, right. Maybe he left the toilet seat up.

These rules are also for agents, too, plus I have a special note for them: Dear agents, I do realize sometimes you set up showings in such a way that you are building up to the prize--the expensive home on Knob Hill-- and my home is not the one you really want to sell but don't be so obvious about it. Ms S from REMAX was in my home for about a minute when she asked me what it was like downstairs. I was too stunned reply properly and then she said, "This is not the right place for them anyway," and they left without going past the living room. Listen Ms S from REMAX, you should have taken your happy butt downstairs and at least ACTED like you were trying to sell my house. I remember you and you won't be in my house again if I can help it.  

So there you are. And if you can't remember those, remember these three--1.
Respect, 2. Courtesy and 3. Do unto others.

Happy House Hunting!