Southern Hospitality

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” -- Winston Churchill

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ― Steve Maraboli

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ --The Acts of the Apostles 

I was thinking about the Spirit of Generosity today; some days I even can see where I have it. I didn't grow up in an atmosphere of open-handing giving and hospitality.  Certainly my parents gave, but giving was not a spontaneous act; it required careful thought. Hospitality involved well-planned, by-invitation-only gatherings.  We did not drop in on anyone without calling first and folks didn't drop in on us. And if the visitors stayed until meal time, the family would wait until they left before before the meal was served.  I don't know if this was a cultural thing or just the way things were in our community or family-- it was just the way it was.  I also had trouble grasping the concept of "It is more blessed to give than to receive." it didn't make sense to me, as I didn't see examples of it in growing up.

Then I married a guy from the South and we moved back to his home town not too long after the wedding. I found myself in a whole new culture.  Folks dropped by without calling and often did so at meal time.  Visitors were always welcomed and the question they would be asked shortly after their arrival is "Y'all eaten yet?" If the answer was "no," room would be made for them at the table.  This also gave the guest an opportunity to make an exit; if they didn't want to stay long, they would decline the offer of a meal and leave before dinner was ready.  One thing I learned really fast is that if a meal was offered it was generally sincere, not just a polite reminder that it is dinner time and the visitor needed be on his way.

I was always shocked to learn was that people gave their stuff away at the drop of a hat. Really? Folks were generous.  It took a long time for me to learn to give spontaneously but I caught onto the Southern Hospitality thing really fast.  I loved saying "Y'all eaten yet?" even though it might mean I'd have to open a can or two to make the food stretch.  

Stepping Stone Acrylic on Concrete 12 inches

I learned a hard lesson about generosity and offering food. Once when we were traveling about the country with Hub's brother we stopped in Ohio to visit my brother-in-law's friends--a family of five, I think.  We arrived about mid-morning on a Sunday.  After a short visit, the men took off somewhere doing guys stuff leaving me and three preschoolers with the women of the house whom I had just met.   I could smell a roast cooking as the hours ticked away and when it was finished cooking, Mom turned off the oven and went in for a nap and I never saw her again.  We weren't offered anything to eat and about 3 PM I ask one of the teen-aged girls for some crackers for the kids who hadn't eaten since early that morning.  The girl was more generous than the mom and I appreciated they way she entertained the kids.  When Hub returned he was stunned that we had been there all day without food.  It never occurred to him that we wouldn't be offered something to eat.  I made up my mind that would never happen in my home, and I became a generous, "Have y'all eaten yet" Southern Hospitality kind of girl. 

Not too many people drop in on me at meal time today, however I enjoy company whether they call first or not.  I now understand the meaning of "It is more blessed to give than to receive."  The passage doesn't mean that there are no blessing in receiving because there are. It means it is even more fun to give.  If you hang out with as many generous people as I know, you will experience a lot of receiving, however when one gives she feels good--it triggers endorphins I think.  Consider this: if everyone refuses to receive, than no one can be blessed by giving. It is generosity and hospitality that makes our world a better place.  Have Y'all eaten yet?