It's in the eyes...

A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. ~Author Unknown
Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose - the eye sheds a tear to find its focus. ~Robert Brault www.robertbrault.com

A friend asked me today if I was doing better, and I told him that I was. "Yes," he said, "I can see it in your eyes." What I could see in his eyes was concern and I realized that it has been there for awhile, because he was aware of some of my struggles. I don't question the troubles, though, because if I did ask God, "Why me?" He'd be apt to say "Why not?" Difficulties are part of the human journey. I am happy to say that I haven't shed many tears since Easter. My hip is better and I am planning to start working in my garden, which is looking pretty neglected. I am ready for a more upbeat attitude.

This is a painting in process. The coneflowers are emerging. I am not happy with the one on the left but the beauty of oil paint is that things can be changed. The finch may not be placed right but it is staying where it is. I am excited to see if I can actually render a bird in paint, as I have never done it before. Today I shipped two paintings I sold from my Facebook page. Whoo hooo!!!

Brush to canvas--finally!!!

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~ Unknown...   You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. ~Jan Glidewell

Both quotes apply to my emotional state tonight. I won't say anymore than that, since it is my intention to move on. They say what doesn't kill us will make us stronger. I highly suspect that I am not going to die from this.  
I am very excited to report that I started painting again. Not just drawing, or tole painting cutesy things but real fine art!! This sketch, Goldfinch on a Cone flower, I did over a year ago. The cone flowers are from photos I took in my garden and I found the goldfinch in a book of artist's reference photos. I planned this painting 18 months ago; it was my intention to move from flowers to birds and other live things. So I stopped painting flowers and never started the birds. I can give all kinds of excuses for that, but it is what it is. I painted the background way back then, and a couple of weeks ago I drew the bird and flowers on the canvas. Last night, I blocked in the basic shapes and colors. At this stage perfectionism is not an option--I need to keep it loose--the details will come later. Heavy texture is not good right now because I will only have to scrap it off later. Because I work with oils which dry slowly, I paint in stages and I usually have several paintings going at once. When this painting dries, I will continue to shape the bird and flowers, but I wanted to show that I have started. I also painted the background to a new iris painting-- I decided to continue flowers for now since I do have confidence in those and I have tons of iris photos. I also have several other canvases I began some time ago and they are ready for me to continue. Are ya proud of me? Even though everything still hurts, I am ready.   
CWCW: I dusted and vacuumed the living room; I plunked the vacuum in the middle of the floor 4 days ago and decided I would not move it until it got used. I worked in the kitchen and on the laundry. I organized things around the drawing table. I plan to get caught up on the house work this week since it is spring and I am gonna want to be outside as soon as it stops raining.

I am not alright

If weakness is a wound

That no one wants to speak of,

Then “cool” is just how far we have to fall.

I am not immune;

I only want to be loved

But I feel safe behind the firewall.

Can I lose my need to impress?

If you want the truth,

I need to confess

I’m not alright

I’m broken inside, broken inside

And all I go through

It leads me to you, Lord, it leads me to you.

Sanctus Real