Thinkin'

No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head. ~Terry Josephson
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again? ~Winnie the Pooh

Thinking. There is my problem. I may as well confess, that since my late husband's death, thinking is what I have been doing and I have actually been paralyzed by it. Just sittin' and thinkin' with the rock and roll music up loud; if you drove by my house you might have seen the windows vibrate like a speaker. It is wierd way to grieve, but I believe it is because I felt my life was out of control and that if I thought about it enough, I would get what I wanted. Consequentially, all I do is live in my head. It is pure anguish because thinking got me nowhere and robbed me of time and energy; I hate the enertia that set in. I wouldn't want to go through those months again--ever!! I am getting better; I take more action and think less, though I still catch myself doing it, and I don't play the music as loud. I still have a lot of room for improvement--progress not perfection, but I would love to smash the inertia and the artist's block. One day I will break through to the other side.

The untitled painting on the left I did about 20 years ago, using reference photos from a painting book. I love the copper pot, but my skill in painting fruit had vastly improve by the time I did the other one 6 years ago. It is titled $10 Worth of Fruit; I bought a bunch of fruit for the purpose of creating still lifes and photographing them for future reference. I spent an afternoon making and photographing the arrangements and then enjoyed the fruit. I love painting reflective surfaces and clear vases with water. There are so many colors and so much depth to capture.

CWCW: Laundry, ironing and working on the portfolio. I also exercised some since my hip is feeling better. I also gave away the long-haired cat that was clawing my furniture, getting cat hair on my drawing table and --worst of all-- terrorizing my older cat. I cleaned up the drawing table and put fresh paper on it. Maybe I will paint soon. If I could stop thinking. :o)