Things....

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ― Robert Brault
Two of my favorite things are my steering wheel and my Remington rifle. ~Dale Earnhardt

I read a blog post by the author J. B. Rowley and I was inspired to use her format to write my own.

THINGS

Things that excite me:  oil painting, designing, summer, gardening, bargains, traveling, sunshine (except in winter as that means bitter temperatures), family and friend gatherings, meaningful conversation, learning, out of town visitors, social events, seeing surprising beauty, history, unexpected money....

Things that annoy me:  group texts, forwarded links videos and chain letters, storage clouds, photos of waterfalls where the water is blurred, folks uploading art and photos from the internet and posting them without artistic or photo credit--it's not nice to do that, misleading information, math, the assault of advertising, paperwork, duck lips, people who believe everything they read without researching, malware, monkeys, fine print, fitted sheets with elastic all around--how can I tell the end from the side?.....

Things that I hate: abuse of all kinds to all creatures, false news and propaganda, arrogance, cancer, addiction, suffering of those I care about, bigotry, persecution, deception, greed, winter, my electric can opener and printer; disrespect, men who say they are single when they are not, rejection, dating scammers, loneliness, pain....

Iris Oil 8 x 10

Things that I love: Jesus, family, friends, my cat, being an artist and the following in no particular order: laughing, Music, gardening, designing, home, flowers, books, lighthouses, historic buildings, socializing, road trips, flip flops, sunsets, fishing, hot water, summer nights, my studio, fajitas, the moon, the ocean, coffee, my town, making new friends, electric blankets, dark chocolate....

Things that soothe my soul: prayer, laughter, encouraging words, quotes, perfect weather, recovery meetings, music, church, reflections on water, spending time with those I love, trees, hugs, cat cuddles, a good book, creating, dancing,
inspiring movies, beaches, serving others...

Southern Hospitality

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” -- Winston Churchill

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ― Steve Maraboli

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ --The Acts of the Apostles 

I was thinking about the Spirit of Generosity today; some days I even can see where I have it. I didn't grow up in an atmosphere of open-handing giving and hospitality.  Certainly my parents gave, but giving was not a spontaneous act; it required careful thought. Hospitality involved well-planned, by-invitation-only gatherings.  We did not drop in on anyone without calling first and folks didn't drop in on us. And if the visitors stayed until meal time, the family would wait until they left before before the meal was served.  I don't know if this was a cultural thing or just the way things were in our community or family-- it was just the way it was.  I also had trouble grasping the concept of "It is more blessed to give than to receive." it didn't make sense to me, as I didn't see examples of it in growing up.

Then I married a guy from the South and we moved back to his home town not too long after the wedding. I found myself in a whole new culture.  Folks dropped by without calling and often did so at meal time.  Visitors were always welcomed and the question they would be asked shortly after their arrival is "Y'all eaten yet?" If the answer was "no," room would be made for them at the table.  This also gave the guest an opportunity to make an exit; if they didn't want to stay long, they would decline the offer of a meal and leave before dinner was ready.  One thing I learned really fast is that if a meal was offered it was generally sincere, not just a polite reminder that it is dinner time and the visitor needed be on his way.

I was always shocked to learn was that people gave their stuff away at the drop of a hat. Really? Folks were generous.  It took a long time for me to learn to give spontaneously but I caught onto the Southern Hospitality thing really fast.  I loved saying "Y'all eaten yet?" even though it might mean I'd have to open a can or two to make the food stretch.  

Stepping Stone Acrylic on Concrete 12 inches

I learned a hard lesson about generosity and offering food. Once when we were traveling about the country with Hub's brother we stopped in Ohio to visit my brother-in-law's friends--a family of five, I think.  We arrived about mid-morning on a Sunday.  After a short visit, the men took off somewhere doing guys stuff leaving me and three preschoolers with the women of the house whom I had just met.   I could smell a roast cooking as the hours ticked away and when it was finished cooking, Mom turned off the oven and went in for a nap and I never saw her again.  We weren't offered anything to eat and about 3 PM I ask one of the teen-aged girls for some crackers for the kids who hadn't eaten since early that morning.  The girl was more generous than the mom and I appreciated they way she entertained the kids.  When Hub returned he was stunned that we had been there all day without food.  It never occurred to him that we wouldn't be offered something to eat.  I made up my mind that would never happen in my home, and I became a generous, "Have y'all eaten yet" Southern Hospitality kind of girl. 

Not too many people drop in on me at meal time today, however I enjoy company whether they call first or not.  I now understand the meaning of "It is more blessed to give than to receive."  The passage doesn't mean that there are no blessing in receiving because there are. It means it is even more fun to give.  If you hang out with as many generous people as I know, you will experience a lot of receiving, however when one gives she feels good--it triggers endorphins I think.  Consider this: if everyone refuses to receive, than no one can be blessed by giving. It is generosity and hospitality that makes our world a better place.  Have Y'all eaten yet?

Remarkable People

“Blogging is to writing what extreme sports are to athletics: more free-form, more accident-prone, less formal, more alive. It is, in many ways, writing out loud.” Andrew Sullivan.
“Not only are bloggers suckers for the remarkable, so are the people who read blogs.” Seth Godin

I have been reading through this blog with a little regret that I have paid so little attention to it recently.  I guess I done went and got a life that is so full and busy that I didn't have time to write about it.  However, I have missed the habit of sharing here.  And I have missed reading the blogs of my remarkable friends.

I have been reading the posts from 2009 onward without judgement and with very little editing even though in some of the shares I am a little crazy or self-absorbed or depressed.  However I have found some of the posts pretty remarkable so I let them all stand as they are.

I am doing some very important editing however, by replacing over a hundred photos that were wiped out of the blog when I deleted them off Google Plus.  I didn't know G P and Blogger were connected like that. I was horrified to discover black boxes in the blog where my pictures once were, especially the pictures of art.  I really have issues with cloud storage especially when I don't even know that my stuff is in the cloud and can be inadvertently removed.... by me.  I think social media should tell me things like that.  I have had trouble with this in other clouds with other files.  I prefer to save everything the old fashioned way with SD cards and flash drives.  Clouds make me nervous.

A fish named George Acrylic 8 x 8 inches

Little by little, as I am restoring the photos, I am becoming inspired to start writing again. I won't make any promises but I hope to become a regular in this spot again where my old friend the Blog lives. I have some posts in drafts that have never been published so can start with those and see how it goes.

I will continue with the format of using related quotes and if I have no photo to illustrate the story I will include some of my art.  So stay tuned...

The Blame Game is Always...

...A Losing Proposition.

Us humans like to blame; it is in our nature. After a natural disaster there is always plenty of blame thrown around, not about the hurricane itself, but about those who respond to it. (or fail to respond.)

George Bush was blamed because he didn't land on his first trip to New Orleans after Katrina and only observed the destruction from the air. Donald Trump didn't make that mistake, he landed and brought the First Lady with him but she was blamed because she boarded Air Force One in high heel shoes. Never mind that is the way she dresses and never mind that she changed into appropriate Hurricane Aftermath footwear en-route to Texas. Her shoes it took up a lot of news coverage.

Then there's Joel Osteen. He was blamed for not opening the church to hurricane victims right away. When the church did open its doors, the outcry was that he only did it because of public pressure. And the fake news is over the top, like the one that Lakewood church wouldn't let anyone in until their tithing records were checked, only allowing the largest contributors in. That is a hoax by the way. Folks should check out the stories before they forward or share them.

So what's up with that? The Blame Game? The willingness to believe the worst about folks? Perhaps it is because when we are confronted with something horrible like the devastation of a hurricane or tornado or earthquake we want to hold some one responsible. We want to make someone pay. Since we all don't stand yelling and shaking a fist at God, the easiest thing to do is to find agencies or persons who don't live up to our standard of care and response--or someone we intensely dislike--and we will give THEM hell.

Another huge hurricane is headed towards some of our citizens, and there is a lot we can do in it's aftermath, pray, donate or serve with hands. Let's save our energy for that because blame is not productive at all.

Florida by Tommy Roberts

Weight Watchers --Success and Failure

While I was on WW

These are my memories of my time on Weight Watchers.  And my memories are clear because I remember all the diets I embarked on.  Severe c
alorie restriction, not a normal thing, is traumatic to the body, so I remember them as well as I do a knee replacement.  And I will say again that when I stopped dieting, I stopped gaining weight.  I wish it hadn't taken me this long to figure it out. I wasn't addicted to food, I was addicted to dieting.

I am not bashing Weight Watchers --it is as good as any weight loss program.  Some people swear by it.  It is my opinion that people with average metabolism who, for whatever reason, put on a few pounds can successfully take it off.  However, obesity is a complicated issue and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to it. There are those with bodies ingrained to seek out and capture every calorie it can; for them no simple weight loss solution helps.  There are those who have to diet for health reasons-- I would not dream of telling anyone to go against their doctors advice.  This blog post is only my experience so take what you want from it.

At its inception Weight Watchers wasn't a tough diet, but by the time I used it in the 90's it had already adapted the nutritional guidelines, established by the US government, of low fat and low cholesterol foods.  (Since these guidelines change from decade to decade I wonder what business our government has in dictating to us what we should eat,) The program itself was just an ordinary low calorie diet.  What it is now I don't know. I don't care to find out.

Of all the diets I did, Weight Watchers was the most successful, meaning I took the most weight off and it took longer to put it back on. I think the reason for this was the weekly meetings and pep talks. I used every bit of my will power to do this program because I couldn't bear to be weighed in front of the whole group of people showing a weight gain.  Seriously, I wouldn't eat or drink anything all afternoon of weigh day and I would skip dinner. I didn't want to be weighing the food I just ate-- only me.  Diets make me a tad insane.. er.

One thing Weight Watchers didn't address was the hunger.  Maybe normal people don't get as hungry as I did--maybe it was my calorie seeking body, but I was hungry all the time.  I remember things I did to attempt to fight it. One was the "free" foods.  We were allowed unlimited vegetables. I availed myself of this benefit. I lived in Arizona at the time where there are year-long farmer's markets and I bought day old slightly wilted veggies and re-hydrated them in a bowl of water in the fridge. (dieting is expensive.) While there is valid nutrition in these veggies they were only satisfying while I was eating them.  After all, if you eat something that is only 10 calories it is not good for sustaining survival, it is only slightly better than drinking hot water.  Today, while I am grateful I still like cooked veggies, I avoid raw ones, especially lettuce; when I go out to eat with others who carefully order "healthy" food, I order the cheeseburger and french fries.  I will enjoy my meal and I won't be the one who is hungry in 10 minutes and guess what? EATING SALADS WON'T MAKE YOU SKINNY!!!  I know this because have eaten enough roughage in my life to support a small truck farmer and it didn't make me skinny.  It only made me hungry.

Another trick I used was hot chocolate.  I can't sleep hungry.  So I would save a bread and milk exchange for bedtime and have a slice of Weight Watchers bread in toast buttered with Weight Watchers margarine and cup of sugar free hot chocolate.  To make the cocoa seem rich I only used a half a cup of water. It was barely enough, but it helped me to sleep. Today I have a cup of sleepy time tea before bed and maybe some cheese and always a few pieces of fruit I dried myself--which is my candy.  When I make a cup of hot chocolate, like I am sipping now as I write, I put an extra scoop of the powder in my cup just for the principle of it.

Another thing Weight Watchers didn't address with the obsession--with food, exercise, fighting hunger.  I remember our leader was obsessed. He took a trip to Israel and packed all the little Weight Watchers products to help him stay on his diet while he was gone and he was upset that customs took them all away from him and he had to eat normal food for a week or two.  He was the one who taught us that if we wanted to eat more than the normal serving of peanut butter to mix it with tofu--I refused to try that. To diet we have to be aware of every calorie. We have to plan meals, count, weigh and measure everything that goes in our mouth..  Almost every waking thought was concentrated on food: planning meals, how to avoid fat and calories, how to burn it off, and how to keep the hunger away. Then if I slipped and ate something I shouldn't or skipped exercising for that day, I worried that it would wreck everything until I was weighed again. I finally came to the conclusion that I was better off not thinking about food at all. Today, I eat when I get hungry and eat something that will relieve hunger for hours.  Now, except for special occasions, I don't plan meals. I eat something when I get up--I decide what when I walk into the kitchen.  Sometime during the day I have lunch--I decide what a few minutes before I eat, and dinner I might think of an hour or two before because I might have to get something out of the freezer, but I am better off keeping my mind on something else other than food.  I eat a lot less that way and I eat a lot less if I am not hungry.

Weight Watchers is not a permanent solution. Certainly they have a maintenance program, but it is still a diet. I stayed on the program long after I stopped going to meetings (we moved to an area with no group).  I prepared two dinners every night (there was no way my skinny husband was going to eat what I ate) and after a time, life eroded away the success I gained and I was back where I started.

 About 10 years later I did the food exchange program on my own, I did the plan for men (more food) which gave me moderate success and I wasn't as hungry. After a year of that I switched to Atkins which has very little hunger but after a few years I just stopped dieting altogether.  The thought of doing it today makes a knot in my stomach.  What I eat is pretty normal today. I don't buy "red-light' foods--food that trigger over-eating like cookies or chips, and I don't keep sweets in the house, otherwise I eat what I want, when I want.  If I am out somewhere I am offered a piece of cake I accept it. One piece is enough, though, and I don't fantasize about eating the whole cake.

I exercise moderately, to be strong and healthy; I no longer lie to myself that sweating on a treadmill will make me skinny or that anything less than an hour of strenuous activity is cheating.

I have a lot of other dieting stories but this is enough for now.  I think I'll have stir fry for supper only I will use plenty of olive oil, not chicken broth, and I will have a generous portion of white rice. I ain't gonna weigh measure or count anything. I will just enjoy my meal.  I wish the same for y'all.

Can you help someone who is being hurt?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and it is my privilege to use my voice to help those involved spousal abuse. I am not a a health care professional or expert nor am I speaking for any organization; only my experiences and observation.

So what do you do if you suspect domestic violence?  It's not like child abuse where you can make an anonymous phone call and the state takes action.  Unless you actually witness or hear violence going on (then please call emergency services), there really isn't a lot you can do, except understand, listen and be ready with information if someone does ask for help.  Understand that the mental state of a victims of spousal abuse is such that they are unable to take action. They have been brow-beaten and manipulated to believe that they are worthless, unable to make it on their own, and that no one would care enough tot help them. Or that they will be hurt more to even try to get away.

I have three stories of encounters with abused women.

One woman I met many years ago.  I worked evenings at a steak house and a fellow waitress shared with me the abuse she endured. When her first husband won complete custody of her children because of the violence in her home she ran away from her current husband--the abuser, and started again in a new state, telling no one, not even her mother, where she was living,  She came home from work one day to find her husband on her doorstep.  He told her he would kill her if she tried to run away again so she stayed.  She coped with the stress by working two full time jobs to stay out of his way as much as she could.  She worked at a restaurant 6 AM till 2, got a nap and worked the evening shift at the steak house.  I had nothing to offer her but a listening ear and compassion. I don't know how her story ended but I often think about her, hoping she found a way out.

I met Leslie a few years after I got into recovery.  Her husband had recently sobered up; she and I talked a lot about our experiences with abuse.  One day after he started drinking again, she showed up at our door, physically sick wanting help to get away from him.  By this time I knew from my own experience about the difficulties of breaking out of abuse and as much as I wanted to take her under my wings, I knew that she had to take the actions herself to succeed at breaking away.  I found the phone number for her to call, and she had to walk a half a block to a pay phone as we didn't have a phone at home.  She had to make that trek several times and she was very sick.  When she located a shelter  60 miles away that would take her, I didn't offer to drive her as much as I wanted to, so she had to make more phone calls to secure a ride.  That was the last time I saw her. I heard about a year later that she stayed with the program and eventually reconciled with her husband. I hope hers was a success story.

A number of years ago I met Diane,  It was the same situation as Leslie's--abusive husband sobered up and then started drinking again.  She came to my house with her three children and stayed the afternoon making phone calls until she found shelter and transportation.  I remember her kids were scared and often ran to the window when they'd hear a car on the street. Diane divorced her husband who couldn't succeed at staying sober and she managed to build a life for herself free of abuse.

The role we play in the life of a victim is often small but you never know when you might make a difference. So this is what you can do:  understand, listen without judgement or advice, be informed, and be supportive allowing the person to take the steps they need to take to break free.

Maxie-ims Volume I

A quote is just a tattoo on the tongue. ~Attributed to William F. DeVault 

Short sentences drawn from long experience.  ~Migel de Cervantes

I'm discovering that everybody is a closet quotesmith. Just give them a chance. ~ Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com 

An Artist's EKG

I absolutely love quotes. During a busy day when I am on the move I have trouble paying attention to a passage with more than a few phrases so I best remember power sentences-- brief and to the point.
While I am a pretty smart cookie, I seriously doubt any of my thoughts are original. Maybe I heard them somewhere and forgot the source. Maybe when someone somewhere, thunk 'em, they bounced on the waves of the universe to me. And this is not an original format-- others have used it.

Don't bother calling the grammar police.  My English professor taught that as long as we know proper English we can choose to butcher it for effect. I use that permission liberally.

The thing that will pique my most intense curiosity is the thing that is none of my business.

They tell me I need to clean my own side of the street but I really think I need to clean my house first.

I have trouble meditating but it seems I do best if I simply study the face of a flower.

Not only Big Brother is watching us but so is his wife, father-in-law, great-granddaughter and three of his friends on Facebook.

Some people are unable to immediately notice beauty; it has to be pointed out to them.  That is why the world needs artists.

Jesus said to forgive a person 7 times 70 but if I only trust once, or twice--three times at the most, I won't have to use all those forgivens.

Leonardo's Ribbons

Falling in love with physical beauty is easy. The challenge is to look for beauty where it is not so obvious.  Don't reject the treasure because of the package it is wrapped in.

On getting older: The thing I miss the most is my eyebrows.

Some say that they can't stand liars and refuse to have anything to do with them.  Some of my favorite people are liars.  The are .... colorful.

The only time I miss my landline is when I misplace my cell phone.

When I copy and paste and hesitate to select "cut," as I'm afraid I will never see my well crafted sentence again.

Today's obesity's problem is not necessarily caused by ice cream, potato chips and visits to McDonald's. It is also caused by diets.

A soulmate is not necessarily a lover but anyone who soothes, heals and understands your soul.

Fractured Proverb: It is better to eat vegetables in the middle of a field than to eat meat in a house of strife. You can reverse that if you are vegan.

A word to Millennials from a Baby Boomer: Don't be like Hitler's Youth who blindly followed a very bad ideology that sounded good.  You have great libraries and the World Wide Web at your disposal, so research the candidates, the platforms, the ideologies, the history. More is expected of those who have been given greater light.

Sometimes even the spell checker doesn't know what to do with me.

On politics: Ain't gonna say. I will either be preaching to the choir or pissing someone off.

People freak out about the germs in a kitchen sponge. I wonder... are they planning to eat it?

Monet's Feathers

Melancholy is part of an artist's personality and that is why they walk close to the edge of darkness, sometimes falling off. But it is when they embrace the light that you see their brilliance.

I haven't walked away from God but there were certainly times that I strained at the leash.

Sometimes the path to Humility is through Humiliation.

As an artist, I have an abundance of paper all over the house--sketch pads, journals, notebook paper, sticky notes, stationary... and I still write on envelopes.  

It appears to me that those who have the most secrets talk the most.  If you can't get a word in edgewise then you can't ask questions.

You get cholesterol from eating meat and eggs? What is in cattle and poultry diets that gives them cholesterol? Grains. Look at the food pyramid the government created and what is the largest section? Hmmmm....

Garfield quote: I am not fat, I'm just easy to see.

Stay tuned for further flights of fancy...