Rules about food.

You can do a lot for your diet by eliminating foods that have mascots. ~Ted Striker
Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food. ~ Michael Pollan
If you don't recognize an ingredient, your body won't either. ~Healthy Homemakers

     As a chronic dieter, much of my life I have had an unhealthy relationship with food. While working hard in recent years to repair the damage, I've learned that much of what we have been taught about the modern dieting guidelines is wrong and down-right confusing if not dangerous. It doesn't help that Powerful entities such the US Government and the AMA write these rules and that the rules are always changing.  
     So I researched the subject of suggested food guidelines which have become Food Rules--set in concrete for many of us--to write this blog post. I confess the purpose was to shed light on the fact that there is no clear cut program that actually works for everyone and the "food rules" written for us by others often borders on insanity. I didn't have any trouble proving this premise. I also confess this post is tinged with a bit of sarcasm....OK a lot of it.
     The number one food advice people are looking for regards weight loss.  There are so many conflicting weight reduction programs, all of which some folks claim to work great:  low calorie, low carb, low fat, high fat, the plankton diet (Plankton is what whales eat... Oh wait!), the Rice Diet, the Grapefruit Diet, Weight Watchers, Adkins, The Cabbage Diet, Jenny Craig, The Campbells Soup diet,  Nutrisystem,  Blood Type diet, Mediterranean diet, Pritikin diet, Slim Fast and many others that came and went. 

Some diets border on insanity--check out some of these:

• General Motors Diet--  "Day one, eat only fruit, except bananas, day two eat only vegetables, day 3 eat only fruits and vegetables, day 4 eat only bananas and milk.  day 5 eat two 10 oz portions of meat and 6 whole tomatoes.  Day 6 two portions of meat and unlimited vegetables day 7 brown rice and unlimited fruits and vegetables."  
• The Prison Loaf Diet-- A meal replacement served to inmates who are not trusted to use cutlery.
• Tongue Patch diet-- Stitching a Marlex patch to the tongue to make eating painful. (Or you could try putting a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it every time you think about eating.)
• Raw Foodism-- Consume only raw foods, including meat.
• Locavore Diet --Eating only locally produced food.)
• Subway Diet.  (We all know about Jared--the question that comes to my mind is did he keep the weight off? Maybe he's eating The Prison Loaf Diet.) 
• Other weird diets you might want to Google.  The Cigarette Diet, The Drinking Man's Diet, The Graham diet (connects obesity with too much sex) and The Sleeping Beauty Diet (You can only eat when you're awake, right?)

     There is more than wight loss involved in The Food Rules.  We were told that we had to eat low fat and low cholesterol, consume oatmeal for the heart and eat from the governments food pyramid. Oh you'd better count your calories. But now the consensus is that you can't get cholesterol by eating cholesterol. (Ya think? What does beef cattle eat to get the cholesterol?) And maybe we shouldn't eat so many grains and we should eat vegetable oils only. (What? No butter?). Don't eat eggs, oh wait, maybe you can. We are encouraged to eat healthy (What the heck is that exactly?)  There are those who maintain that we should eat non-GMO or organic foods and only free range meats. There are others who feel that we should pursue a plant based diet to be healthy. I  have been floundering through The Food Rules landscape with foggy directions. It was no wonder I was lost.

     Out of curiosity I Googled "Food Rules." and came up with the following:

From Eating Well:

• Eat mostly plants especially leaves
• Eat animals that themselves have eaten well.
• Eat your colors. (I don't think they mean to eat your crayons, but hey, it might work.)
• Eat all the junk food you want as long as you cook it yourself.
• The whiter the bread the sooner you'll be dead. (My husband ate white bread all his life, but he died from cigarettes.)
• Shop the peripheries of the supermarket and stay out of the middle.  (The bakery is usually on the outside and the coffee is in the middle. Hmmmm)
• Don't overlook the oily little fishes. (I am sure you won't find those on the periphery.)
• Eat more like the French. Or the Japanese. Or the Italians. Or the Greeks. (Well make up your mind!)

Michael Pollan's food rules.  (selected)

• Eat food.
•  Avoid food products containing ingredients that no ordinary human would keep in the pantry.
• Avoid food products that have more than 5 ingredients.
• Avoid food products containing ingredients that a third‐grader cannot pronounce.
• Avoid food products that make health claims.
• Avoid food products with the words“lite” or the terms “low fat” or “nonfat” in their names.
• Avoid foods you see advertised on television.
• Eat only foods that will eventually rot. (Hopefully not before you eat them.)
• Buy your snacks at the farmers market.
• Eat only foods that have been cooked by humans.
• It’s not food if it arrived through the window of your car.
• It’s not food if it’s called by the same name in every language (Think Big Mac, Cheetos or Pringles).
• Don’t eat breakfast cereals that change the color of the milk.
• Buy smaller plates and glasses. (Drinking glasses? Or glasses to make the food look bigger?)
• Don’t get your fuel from the same place your car does. (does this mean coffee too?)
• Cook.
• Break the rules once in a while.

Other rules:

• If it feels like a diet, you are doing it wrong.
• Eat a food that converts into sugar every time you eat. (huh?)
• Eat most of your kilojoules in the morning. (double huh?)
• Load your plate with vegetables.  (oh yeah, that works...)
• Don't just count calories. (Oh yeah, you need a calculator and a lot of obsessive worry)
• Enjoy your food. 
• Drink wine with your meals. (I like this rule!)
• Don't drink anything at all with your meals.
• Don't eat at night. (Unless you're sleep walking.)
• Eat at the same time every day.
• Eat like a Prince in the morning and a pauper at night
• Chew your food 200 times.
• Eat radishes while baking cookies for your hard working husband so you won't be tempted to eat the dough. (I am proud to say that I made this rule up all by myself!)
• Eat only what Jesus would have eaten. (He fasted for 40 days. I am not sure that is recommended for everyone.)

     This subject can go on and on.  You might want to check out Bizarre Food Laws in the United States where you can learn things like: It's against the law to take a bite out of your friend's burger in Oklahoma. (But I bet you can in Texas!)  https://www.ranker.com/list/weird-american-food-laws/melissa-sartore

     Summery: God didn't use a cookie cutter when He created us.  Every person is different with different nutritional needs and reacts differently to our environment.  I would suggest that you pray for guidance, do your research and listen to your intuition. Whatever food plan you decide on, you only have to do it for a short time to see how it is going and you can readjust at any time.  Don't be hard on yourself if the current plan doesn't seem to be working or if you eat the cookie that floats by your nose. I am convinced that constant worry, food obsessions and the sense of self-loathing that comes from diet fails leads to weight gain. If you find something that works for you, try not to write a book about it and create a cult following because EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT. Laugh at yourself and never ever give up. 
     I stopped official dieting years ago. I also stopped believing the AMA and Government recommendations about food, giving up manufactured oils and margarine and artificial sweeteners; I started eating eggs and butter and using half and half in coffee. Surprising to others, I stopped gaining weight and my cholesterol levels have been normal. A year ago I severely reduced wheat intake and seriously considered going gluten free because of digestive issues. I don't keep sweets or sugar in the house. The idea of returning to dieting and deprivation still makes me cringe after all this time, but I am willing to make more changes. 
So here are my current Food Rules:  
Continue on with what I have been doing.
Try the new plan for 6 weeks.
Never count, weigh or measure anything. And rarely weigh my myself.
Avoid all grains and sugar.
Eat Low-Glycemic vegetables.
Eat organic when possible.
Otherwise eat whatever and whenever I want to.
18 days into it, it is going pretty well.  I will reassess in 3 more weeks.  

My best to you and your food journey.  Write your own rules.

$10 Worth of Fruit Oil 12 x 16

Things....

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ― Robert Brault
Two of my favorite things are my steering wheel and my Remington rifle. ~Dale Earnhardt

I read a blog post by the author J. B. Rowley and I was inspired to use her format to write my own.

THINGS

Things that excite me:  oil painting, designing, summer, gardening, bargains, traveling, sunshine (except in winter as that means bitter temperatures), family and friend gatherings, meaningful conversation, learning, out of town visitors, social events, seeing surprising beauty, history, unexpected money....

Things that annoy me:  group texts, forwarded links videos and chain letters, storage clouds, photos of waterfalls where the water is blurred, folks uploading art and photos from the internet and posting them without artistic or photo credit--it's not nice to do that, misleading information, math, the assault of advertising, paperwork, duck lips, people who believe everything they read without researching, malware, monkeys, fine print, fitted sheets with elastic all around--how can I tell the end from the side?.....

Things that I hate: abuse of all kinds to all creatures, false news and propaganda, arrogance, cancer, addiction, suffering of those I care about, bigotry, persecution, deception, greed, winter, my electric can opener and printer; disrespect, men who say they are single when they are not, rejection, dating scammers, loneliness, pain....

Iris Oil 8 x 10

Things that I love: Jesus, family, friends, my cat, being an artist and the following in no particular order: laughing, Music, gardening, designing, home, flowers, books, lighthouses, historic buildings, socializing, road trips, flip flops, sunsets, fishing, hot water, summer nights, my studio, fajitas, the moon, the ocean, coffee, my town, making new friends, electric blankets, dark chocolate....

Things that soothe my soul: prayer, laughter, encouraging words, quotes, perfect weather, recovery meetings, music, church, reflections on water, spending time with those I love, trees, hugs, cat cuddles, a good book, creating, dancing,
inspiring movies, beaches, serving others...

Southern Hospitality

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” -- Winston Churchill

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ― Steve Maraboli

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ --The Acts of the Apostles 

I was thinking about the Spirit of Generosity today; some days I even can see where I have it. I didn't grow up in an atmosphere of open-handing giving and hospitality.  Certainly my parents gave, but giving was not a spontaneous act; it required careful thought. Hospitality involved well-planned, by-invitation-only gatherings.  We did not drop in on anyone without calling first and folks didn't drop in on us. And if the visitors stayed until meal time, the family would wait until they left before before the meal was served.  I don't know if this was a cultural thing or just the way things were in our community or family-- it was just the way it was.  I also had trouble grasping the concept of "It is more blessed to give than to receive." it didn't make sense to me, as I didn't see examples of it in growing up.

Then I married a guy from the South and we moved back to his home town not too long after the wedding. I found myself in a whole new culture.  Folks dropped by without calling and often did so at meal time.  Visitors were always welcomed and the question they would be asked shortly after their arrival is "Y'all eaten yet?" If the answer was "no," room would be made for them at the table.  This also gave the guest an opportunity to make an exit; if they didn't want to stay long, they would decline the offer of a meal and leave before dinner was ready.  One thing I learned really fast is that if a meal was offered it was generally sincere, not just a polite reminder that it is dinner time and the visitor needed be on his way.

I was always shocked to learn was that people gave their stuff away at the drop of a hat. Really? Folks were generous.  It took a long time for me to learn to give spontaneously but I caught onto the Southern Hospitality thing really fast.  I loved saying "Y'all eaten yet?" even though it might mean I'd have to open a can or two to make the food stretch.  

Stepping Stone Acrylic on Concrete 12 inches

I learned a hard lesson about generosity and offering food. Once when we were traveling about the country with Hub's brother we stopped in Ohio to visit my brother-in-law's friends--a family of five, I think.  We arrived about mid-morning on a Sunday.  After a short visit, the men took off somewhere doing guys stuff leaving me and three preschoolers with the women of the house whom I had just met.   I could smell a roast cooking as the hours ticked away and when it was finished cooking, Mom turned off the oven and went in for a nap and I never saw her again.  We weren't offered anything to eat and about 3 PM I ask one of the teen-aged girls for some crackers for the kids who hadn't eaten since early that morning.  The girl was more generous than the mom and I appreciated they way she entertained the kids.  When Hub returned he was stunned that we had been there all day without food.  It never occurred to him that we wouldn't be offered something to eat.  I made up my mind that would never happen in my home, and I became a generous, "Have y'all eaten yet" Southern Hospitality kind of girl. 

Not too many people drop in on me at meal time today, however I enjoy company whether they call first or not.  I now understand the meaning of "It is more blessed to give than to receive."  The passage doesn't mean that there are no blessing in receiving because there are. It means it is even more fun to give.  If you hang out with as many generous people as I know, you will experience a lot of receiving, however when one gives she feels good--it triggers endorphins I think.  Consider this: if everyone refuses to receive, than no one can be blessed by giving. It is generosity and hospitality that makes our world a better place.  Have Y'all eaten yet?

Remarkable People

“Blogging is to writing what extreme sports are to athletics: more free-form, more accident-prone, less formal, more alive. It is, in many ways, writing out loud.” Andrew Sullivan.
“Not only are bloggers suckers for the remarkable, so are the people who read blogs.” Seth Godin

I have been reading through this blog with a little regret that I have paid so little attention to it recently.  I guess I done went and got a life that is so full and busy that I didn't have time to write about it.  However, I have missed the habit of sharing here.  And I have missed reading the blogs of my remarkable friends.

I have been reading the posts from 2009 onward without judgement and with very little editing even though in some of the shares I am a little crazy or self-absorbed or depressed.  However I have found some of the posts pretty remarkable so I let them all stand as they are.

I am doing some very important editing however, by replacing over a hundred photos that were wiped out of the blog when I deleted them off Google Plus.  I didn't know G P and Blogger were connected like that. I was horrified to discover black boxes in the blog where my pictures once were, especially the pictures of art.  I really have issues with cloud storage especially when I don't even know that my stuff is in the cloud and can be inadvertently removed.... by me.  I think social media should tell me things like that.  I have had trouble with this in other clouds with other files.  I prefer to save everything the old fashioned way with SD cards and flash drives.  Clouds make me nervous.

A fish named George Acrylic 8 x 8 inches

Little by little, as I am restoring the photos, I am becoming inspired to start writing again. I won't make any promises but I hope to become a regular in this spot again where my old friend the Blog lives. I have some posts in drafts that have never been published so can start with those and see how it goes.

I will continue with the format of using related quotes and if I have no photo to illustrate the story I will include some of my art.  So stay tuned...

The Blame Game is Always...

...A Losing Proposition.

Us humans like to blame; it is in our nature. After a natural disaster there is always plenty of blame thrown around, not about the hurricane itself, but about those who respond to it. (or fail to respond.)

George Bush was blamed because he didn't land on his first trip to New Orleans after Katrina and only observed the destruction from the air. Donald Trump didn't make that mistake, he landed and brought the First Lady with him but she was blamed because she boarded Air Force One in high heel shoes. Never mind that is the way she dresses and never mind that she changed into appropriate Hurricane Aftermath footwear en-route to Texas. Her shoes it took up a lot of news coverage.

Then there's Joel Osteen. He was blamed for not opening the church to hurricane victims right away. When the church did open its doors, the outcry was that he only did it because of public pressure. And the fake news is over the top, like the one that Lakewood church wouldn't let anyone in until their tithing records were checked, only allowing the largest contributors in. That is a hoax by the way. Folks should check out the stories before they forward or share them.

So what's up with that? The Blame Game? The willingness to believe the worst about folks? Perhaps it is because when we are confronted with something horrible like the devastation of a hurricane or tornado or earthquake we want to hold some one responsible. We want to make someone pay. Since we all don't stand yelling and shaking a fist at God, the easiest thing to do is to find agencies or persons who don't live up to our standard of care and response--or someone we intensely dislike--and we will give THEM hell.

Another huge hurricane is headed towards some of our citizens, and there is a lot we can do in it's aftermath, pray, donate or serve with hands. Let's save our energy for that because blame is not productive at all.

Florida by Tommy Roberts

Weight Watchers --Success and Failure

While I was on WW

These are my memories of my time on Weight Watchers.  And my memories are clear because I remember all the diets I embarked on.  Severe c
alorie restriction, not a normal thing, is traumatic to the body, so I remember them as well as I do a knee replacement.  And I will say again that when I stopped dieting, I stopped gaining weight.  I wish it hadn't taken me this long to figure it out. I wasn't addicted to food, I was addicted to dieting.

I am not bashing Weight Watchers --it is as good as any weight loss program.  Some people swear by it.  It is my opinion that people with average metabolism who, for whatever reason, put on a few pounds can successfully take it off.  However, obesity is a complicated issue and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to it. There are those with bodies ingrained to seek out and capture every calorie it can; for them no simple weight loss solution helps.  There are those who have to diet for health reasons-- I would not dream of telling anyone to go against their doctors advice.  This blog post is only my experience so take what you want from it.

At its inception Weight Watchers wasn't a tough diet, but by the time I used it in the 90's it had already adapted the nutritional guidelines, established by the US government, of low fat and low cholesterol foods.  (Since these guidelines change from decade to decade I wonder what business our government has in dictating to us what we should eat,) The program itself was just an ordinary low calorie diet.  What it is now I don't know. I don't care to find out.

Of all the diets I did, Weight Watchers was the most successful, meaning I took the most weight off and it took longer to put it back on. I think the reason for this was the weekly meetings and pep talks. I used every bit of my will power to do this program because I couldn't bear to be weighed in front of the whole group of people showing a weight gain.  Seriously, I wouldn't eat or drink anything all afternoon of weigh day and I would skip dinner. I didn't want to be weighing the food I just ate-- only me.  Diets make me a tad insane.. er.

One thing Weight Watchers didn't address was the hunger.  Maybe normal people don't get as hungry as I did--maybe it was my calorie seeking body, but I was hungry all the time.  I remember things I did to attempt to fight it. One was the "free" foods.  We were allowed unlimited vegetables. I availed myself of this benefit. I lived in Arizona at the time where there are year-long farmer's markets and I bought day old slightly wilted veggies and re-hydrated them in a bowl of water in the fridge. (dieting is expensive.) While there is valid nutrition in these veggies they were only satisfying while I was eating them.  After all, if you eat something that is only 10 calories it is not good for sustaining survival, it is only slightly better than drinking hot water.  Today, while I am grateful I still like cooked veggies, I avoid raw ones, especially lettuce; when I go out to eat with others who carefully order "healthy" food, I order the cheeseburger and french fries.  I will enjoy my meal and I won't be the one who is hungry in 10 minutes and guess what? EATING SALADS WON'T MAKE YOU SKINNY!!!  I know this because have eaten enough roughage in my life to support a small truck farmer and it didn't make me skinny.  It only made me hungry.

Another trick I used was hot chocolate.  I can't sleep hungry.  So I would save a bread and milk exchange for bedtime and have a slice of Weight Watchers bread in toast buttered with Weight Watchers margarine and cup of sugar free hot chocolate.  To make the cocoa seem rich I only used a half a cup of water. It was barely enough, but it helped me to sleep. Today I have a cup of sleepy time tea before bed and maybe some cheese and always a few pieces of fruit I dried myself--which is my candy.  When I make a cup of hot chocolate, like I am sipping now as I write, I put an extra scoop of the powder in my cup just for the principle of it.

Another thing Weight Watchers didn't address with the obsession--with food, exercise, fighting hunger.  I remember our leader was obsessed. He took a trip to Israel and packed all the little Weight Watchers products to help him stay on his diet while he was gone and he was upset that customs took them all away from him and he had to eat normal food for a week or two.  He was the one who taught us that if we wanted to eat more than the normal serving of peanut butter to mix it with tofu--I refused to try that. To diet we have to be aware of every calorie. We have to plan meals, count, weigh and measure everything that goes in our mouth..  Almost every waking thought was concentrated on food: planning meals, how to avoid fat and calories, how to burn it off, and how to keep the hunger away. Then if I slipped and ate something I shouldn't or skipped exercising for that day, I worried that it would wreck everything until I was weighed again. I finally came to the conclusion that I was better off not thinking about food at all. Today, I eat when I get hungry and eat something that will relieve hunger for hours.  Now, except for special occasions, I don't plan meals. I eat something when I get up--I decide what when I walk into the kitchen.  Sometime during the day I have lunch--I decide what a few minutes before I eat, and dinner I might think of an hour or two before because I might have to get something out of the freezer, but I am better off keeping my mind on something else other than food.  I eat a lot less that way and I eat a lot less if I am not hungry.

Weight Watchers is not a permanent solution. Certainly they have a maintenance program, but it is still a diet. I stayed on the program long after I stopped going to meetings (we moved to an area with no group).  I prepared two dinners every night (there was no way my skinny husband was going to eat what I ate) and after a time, life eroded away the success I gained and I was back where I started.

 About 10 years later I did the food exchange program on my own, I did the plan for men (more food) which gave me moderate success and I wasn't as hungry. After a year of that I switched to Atkins which has very little hunger but after a few years I just stopped dieting altogether.  The thought of doing it today makes a knot in my stomach.  What I eat is pretty normal today. I don't buy "red-light' foods--food that trigger over-eating like cookies or chips, and I don't keep sweets in the house, otherwise I eat what I want, when I want.  If I am out somewhere I am offered a piece of cake I accept it. One piece is enough, though, and I don't fantasize about eating the whole cake.

I exercise moderately, to be strong and healthy; I no longer lie to myself that sweating on a treadmill will make me skinny or that anything less than an hour of strenuous activity is cheating.

I have a lot of other dieting stories but this is enough for now.  I think I'll have stir fry for supper only I will use plenty of olive oil, not chicken broth, and I will have a generous portion of white rice. I ain't gonna weigh measure or count anything. I will just enjoy my meal.  I wish the same for y'all.

Can you help someone who is being hurt?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and it is my privilege to use my voice to help those involved spousal abuse. I am not a a health care professional or expert nor am I speaking for any organization; only my experiences and observation.

So what do you do if you suspect domestic violence?  It's not like child abuse where you can make an anonymous phone call and the state takes action.  Unless you actually witness or hear violence going on (then please call emergency services), there really isn't a lot you can do, except understand, listen and be ready with information if someone does ask for help.  Understand that the mental state of a victims of spousal abuse is such that they are unable to take action. They have been brow-beaten and manipulated to believe that they are worthless, unable to make it on their own, and that no one would care enough tot help them. Or that they will be hurt more to even try to get away.

I have three stories of encounters with abused women.

One woman I met many years ago.  I worked evenings at a steak house and a fellow waitress shared with me the abuse she endured. When her first husband won complete custody of her children because of the violence in her home she ran away from her current husband--the abuser, and started again in a new state, telling no one, not even her mother, where she was living,  She came home from work one day to find her husband on her doorstep.  He told her he would kill her if she tried to run away again so she stayed.  She coped with the stress by working two full time jobs to stay out of his way as much as she could.  She worked at a restaurant 6 AM till 2, got a nap and worked the evening shift at the steak house.  I had nothing to offer her but a listening ear and compassion. I don't know how her story ended but I often think about her, hoping she found a way out.

I met Leslie a few years after I got into recovery.  Her husband had recently sobered up; she and I talked a lot about our experiences with abuse.  One day after he started drinking again, she showed up at our door, physically sick wanting help to get away from him.  By this time I knew from my own experience about the difficulties of breaking out of abuse and as much as I wanted to take her under my wings, I knew that she had to take the actions herself to succeed at breaking away.  I found the phone number for her to call, and she had to walk a half a block to a pay phone as we didn't have a phone at home.  She had to make that trek several times and she was very sick.  When she located a shelter  60 miles away that would take her, I didn't offer to drive her as much as I wanted to, so she had to make more phone calls to secure a ride.  That was the last time I saw her. I heard about a year later that she stayed with the program and eventually reconciled with her husband. I hope hers was a success story.

A number of years ago I met Diane,  It was the same situation as Leslie's--abusive husband sobered up and then started drinking again.  She came to my house with her three children and stayed the afternoon making phone calls until she found shelter and transportation.  I remember her kids were scared and often ran to the window when they'd hear a car on the street. Diane divorced her husband who couldn't succeed at staying sober and she managed to build a life for herself free of abuse.

The role we play in the life of a victim is often small but you never know when you might make a difference. So this is what you can do:  understand, listen without judgement or advice, be informed, and be supportive allowing the person to take the steps they need to take to break free.