Sunday, September 4, 2011

Confessions of a Wife of a Redneck...4. The language we spoke..

You might be a redneck have moved your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow or if taking a dip has nothing to do with water or if your hood and one door is a different color then the rest of your car. 

I first noticed  Hubby and I had a communication problem not long after we were married.  We had just moved into our apartment and I was busy scrubbing cabinets; he came into the kitchen and asked me something. I thought he said, "how much do you like doing that?"  Oh, I thought, he wants to help!!  I told him I didn't like it very much at all.  "No," he said, " I asked you how much you lacked."  As in how much did I have left to do.  He wanted me to finish up so we could do something fun.  And he weren't gonna help.

He married a Yankee city girl and immediately set about tryin' to change her and he started with the language she spoke.  I annoyed him to no end how I pronounced words, and he would correct me.  Like the word "pecan."   I pronounced it like it is written, "PEE'-can."  That was wrong, he told me, "that sounds like yur wantin' to pee in a can," he says, "It's pronounced, 'puh-KAHN.'"  I still pronounce it that way to this day--I was a very obedient wife.  His correction was especially harsh when I asked him if he wanted Vienna  sausages.  I said, Vee-EH-na --isn't that the way they say it in Austria?  No, he insisted, it is Vie-EEN-nees. "Fetch me up some vie-EEN-nees," he'd say. What? there is no "s" on the end of Vienna!!  I still refuse to use that pronunciation-- he had a very stubborn wife.

So in this post I giving some words I learned during my transformation into a Southern girl. This is an incomplete list and I am sure I will think of more later.  Enjoy.

Y'all.  Y'all can be singular or plural.  I could be addressing every one in the room or only one person and use the same word.  "All y'all" is definitely plural jus soes there's no confusion that I am speaking to everyone.  It is part of my Southern up-bringing I refused to let go of when we moved North.

Plum. It's not referring to fruit or something in alignment.  It means complete. "We done run plum outa butter."  Oh yeah, notice the use of "done."

Tickled-- Pleased or happy.  "I'm plum tickled ya bought some butter."

Sugah.  Sumpthin ya put in yur iced tea or plant on someone's lips.  "Honey, give me some sugah."

Munts - noun. A calendar division. "Bubba got six munts in the slammer."

Over Yonder.  Not here but in the general direction of there.

Whistle britches - noun.  Someone who is not highly thought of. A doofus.  "Where's ole whistle britches?"   The origin came from when boys wore corduroy pants which was totally not cool.

Britches. -noun- the garment with two legs that ya wear on the lower part of yur anatomy.  This word applies to all kinds, including diapers.  "Honey, Sissy needs some clean britches."

Horny toad...'s not what you think. It's a reptile --a horned lizard.

Them there.. "Gimme some a them there grits."

Fetch-- go get and it is not referring to the dog.

Idinit: (Isn't it?) Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying "Ain't."

Ast--to inquire.
Dayam--a cuss word.
Whup-- beat up or spank.
Squarsh -- a vegetable or "to flatten."
Yaller-- a color.
Fixin'  --about to.
I reckon -- I suppose.
Rile--make angry.
Tarnation-- a nice way to say damnation.
Tore-up --hurtin or sad.
Druthers --preference.
Varmint-- a pesky critter.
Hankerin-- yearning.
Heap-- a lot.
Liked to --almost.
Piddlin' --insignificant.
A toad stabber, or Arkansas toothpick-- a knife.
Bowed up --bristling for a fight.
Burnin' daylight --sleeping in way to late.  ( I do that a lot. :o)
A tank -- a pond usually man-made for watering cattle.  And it is usually stocked with catfish to keep the miskeeters down.

I'll let y'all figger these out:  everwhichaway, cattywampus, good ole boy, hunkeydory, likety split, sho'nuff.

Law enforcement officer: PO-leece, Johnny Law, Polecat, shuruff.  These are the polite ones

I hope this post plum tickled ya.  Y'all come back, ya hear?"

Locust Trees
I have been writing in my blog since December 2009, uploading pictures mostly of my art and old pix of my family. One day recently I went to blogger and found that all the photos are gone. I have been so busy that I haven't had time to deal with it, but last night I researched it. It seems that all the photos on all the Google sites --of which blogger is one-- are stored at a site called... picasaweb. If you delete any photos on any site, they are removed from picasweb. If they are removed from picasweb, they are removed from all the sites. I can't remembr clearly but it seems that when I signed up for Google+ a bunch of my photos appeared in there and I didn't want them on that site so I deleted them. Who knows what really happened but a warning box saying that they would be deleted out of blogger would have been nice! Like how I was supposed to know that????!!! I didn't even know that the photos were even stored on  picasweb!!! Now this whole blog is hard to understand without the pictures since I discuss the dang things in my posts and the only way to get them back is to upload them one at a time--on 158 posts! Most of the photos are stored on disc, and since my computer crashed, I haven't gotten them all installed on the reformatted PC.  But I have started.  If you read a post with a black picture on it check back later to see the photo that goes with it.

The current medium I am using in this busy summer is pen and ink.  I carry a small sketch pad and pens with me everywhere and doodle where I have to be in meetings, campgrounds or where ever I might be sitting.  I am in a tree phase.  This picture was drawn on a camping trip.  I will be back with a new post soon.  Stay tuned...