Thursday, November 4, 2010

By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions....

Proud to be American
 ...one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.  Christopher Columbus

Happiness can only be found if you can free yourself of all other distractions.   Saul Bellow


I guess I haven't had the same focus as that of good ole Chris, as my attempts at creating art --or doing anything for that matter-- have been hit or miss.  I still haven't  found a way to get my old task-oriented, success-driven life back that I had before the death of my husband. When that life left, it also took my confidence and  motivation with it, leaving me with inertia, insecurities and (gasp) procrastination.  I seem to have lost the ability to study, and to pray and I have lost the joy of reading--which has been with me since a little girl.   I have filled the gap with social networking both face to face and on the internet--good things but insufficient.


However, I am convinced, that I won't be able to live in the old life again as it is impossible to return to yesterday and we only have today; I am in the process in building a new life--some days I participate in that better than others.  While I am not pleased with the procrastination and I miss the motivation, it is all a part of the transition.  I have learned a lot in the last 16 months about myself, God and about other people.  The dust is still settling, and we will see where Maxie will be when it does.  Meanwhile I am getting a hip replaced. My first hope was that this would help me to get part of my old life, but I realize that this hip has been has been impeding my ability to move freely for some time, even before I noticed the pain, so in that respect I want my new life to be better than the old.  I do want reading part of my new life so I am ordering books by my favorite authors to read while I am laid up. All I can say is: hide and watch and see what kind of Maxie emerges....


The drawing is titled Proud to be American.  I found a website that provides a gallery for my art and where I can create a gallery of works of other artists.  I am enjoying it very much. http://artofmaxielee.deviantart.com/ 




7 comments:

  1. Maxie,
    What a rare self-awareness you possess! To be able to catalog what is missing in your life must certainly be the key to supplying it. I'll indeed be hiding in the bush to watch and see. And for sure I'll be checking out the artofmaxielee on deviantart.

    smiles,
    rb

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  2. I agree with Robert! And I'm off to check out your gallery...

    =)

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  3. May I suggest a trio of books by a Swedish author, Stieg Larsson? They're best-sellers and at our local library there are 150 people on the "hold" lists for the first 2!
    "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"
    "The Girl Who Played With Fire"
    "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest"
    HAPPY READING!

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  4. Thank you Robert and Sue. sometimes I am just speechless. :o)

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  5. And thank you Diane... heading to library site now...

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  6. Amazing how you write with such self-awareness. I wish you the best of luck in your exploration of this side of you :)

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  7. "in the process in building a new life" Maxie - you are blessed with the company of so many friends & well wishers. Proud of you!

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