Saturday, June 5, 2010

Here comes the Bride or D-Day..

There are three things that last: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.  - I Corinthians 13:13
I have spread my dreams beneath your feet;  Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. - W.B. Yeats

We were married Friday June 6, 1964.  I didn't realize it until later but that was my paternal grandparents wedding anniversary and it is also the date of the great Allied invasion of WWII.  I always thought both facts were significant.

We were married in the First Baptist Church of Bremerton WA by Rev. Felthouse.  I do remember his name--I didn't have to look it up.  I wanted to be married in a church and because of my mother's fit of anger, I wasn't bold enough to ask to take my vows before my church family.  My mother could be very difficult and I would have to fight her to have a wedding in our church, and I was not that brave.  So we went another church. 

Jim had decided that we didn't need anyone at our wedding--not friends or family.  The pastor arranged for two young men to be witnesses of our vows and they would be expected to be paid.  I was bothered by that.  I still may be.  There a number of our friends and family who would have loved to have been there, but I deferred to Jim's wishes.  I told a friend today that I let a hayseed from Oklahoma plan the most important day in a girl's life.  But it was what it was.

The church was large, but it had a chapel for small events, and when we arrived that afternoon, I found the chapel decorated with  the most amazing flowers.  There was to be a large wedding later on in the evening and the pastor borrowed some of the flowers  for my wedding.  I will always remember how touched I was; I think he thought it would be sad for a girl to get married without flowers.  I wore a  simple white dress, and the ring was a simple gold band Jim bought at a pawn shop.

The big surprise was that my dad came.  He rarely stood up to my mother, but when he made up his mind to do something, he would not be deterred.  We were married before two paid witnesses and my father surrounded with flowers.  The vows were the traditional ones of "Love, honor and cherish" for him and "Love, honor and obey" for me.  (It was that "obey" one that always gave me the most trouble over the years.)  The ceremony was over very quickly.

We rode the ferry to Seattle for the honeymoon.  We just stayed one night.  Jim didn't see any sense spending money for a longer stay when we had a perfectly good apartment.  :o)  I remember I had spaghetti for our wedding supper.

I have no photos, no honeymoon mementos--only the marriage certificate and a copy of our vows.  I no longer have the ring, I lost it during a period when we weren't getting along and I didn't make very much effort to find it, and the dress was ruined when I tried to dye it pink.  On our 25th anniversary, which was during one of the best time of our lives, James gave me a wedding set with a diamond.  James has given me flowers over the years, including the bouquet in the photo above.  But the most important thing I have is a very clear memory of a wedding in a lovely chapel filled with flowers, the kindness of a minister and the comfort of having my father with me.


  1. Bless your father for attending your wedding ceremony and the kind pastor for "providing" the flowers! What heart-warming memories for you!

  2. What a touching account. It was wonderful of your father to be present.It's these little moments of joy that matter...