Man spends his life in reasoning on the past, in complaining of the present, in fearing future. ~Antoine Rivarol
I am at loss what to write right now. This is the third post I have started, saving the other two to drafts waiting for the courage and wisdom to write in them. I need to talk about the wedding and I want to cover some of the issues of my marriage, but it is best to proceed with caution about that. I need to be careful that I don't focus on the negative and paint myself blameless, because I played my own role in this relationship. I spent a lot of time in regret, but as I wrote in a previous post, things had to work out the way they did because it was just the natural outcome of combining these two personalities. Kind of like mixing baking soda and vinegar; combining the two elements creates a third different than either. It is what it was, and as it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, "Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake." If I am to believe that, then everything that happened--good and bad--were for a reason and I can relax and not fret about hurts, wrongs and mistakes that were made and learn what I can about the journey. I can be free of the bondage of the past. My experiences brought me to where I am today, right here writing in a blog about sensitive things that potentially the whole world can read. Where I am right now is a good place to be; and where I will be next week or next year will be different --as it is a journey, but it will be good too. And where James is --in heaven-- is the best place to be; I can be pretty sure that he is not having to write a blog to process his feelings. :o)
I guess I found some things to write about after all. There will be more on all this later, but I don't want to stir up emotions so close to bedtime.