Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon

I am fearless! Not really... because I can get anxious, same as anybody else, but looking back over the last 8 1/8 months since Hubby's death, I can see I made it through one day at a time and that God was with me, and I didn't give up; that is fearless.

What really is courage? For me it was getting up every day and going to meetings in the Fellowship, to church, or hooking up with friends. It was making decisions without worry and accepting that outcome--good or bad-- was just me doing the best I could. It was calling people when I needed help and prayer, and not being ashamed to do so and graciously accepting the help offered. It is learning to be who I am and not worry whether anybody likes who that is. It was letting myself cry and then putting my smile back on when I faced other people. It was staying alone when my heart ached for companionship. It was seeking out that companionship when the ache became too much. It is knowing that this too shall pass and these experiences will tenderize my hard heart and allow me to help others. It is knowing that "nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake."

This painting is Scent of Spring; as I said yesterday I love reflections and painting clear vases with water in them; I like the distortion of the stems. I also enjoy rendering fabrics. I struggled with the daffodils in this picture but I love the rest of it. I picked the flowers in my garden and created the still life, photographing it for reference. I work too slow to paint from life--the flowers would be black by the time I was done.

CWCW: I finished the portfolio and made arrangements to visit the new gallery on Friday with an artist friend.

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