"...we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." Alcoholics Anonymous p. 62 ...I had played a part in the way my life turned out...My decisions had been based on fear, pride or ego...I am responsible for my action--or inaction--whatever the consequences may be. Daily Reflections p. 78
This is pretty heavy stuff I read today. After I lowered the book, I looked across the room at the dusty floor illuminated by the morning sun. My living room --the whole house really-- needs cleaning; I keep putting it off-- I am too tired or in too much pain or too sad or I just don't give a damn, which is the case for many things in my life. It has been too easy to blame circumstances --of my life and my emotions-- for things undone. Certainly there are good reasons for confusion in our lives but the bottom line is that we are still making choices and have to accept the consequences-- grieving or not.
I am ready for spring so I chose the picture of St. Francis watching over tulips and daffodils in my flower bed.
CWCW: Well, I didn't clean the living room, but I cleaned the kitchen, picked up some things in the yard and removed mulch from around a rose bush. I tackled a stack of papers on the desk, filing some away and putting others in an action file. There are things I promised to do and cards I need to send, I have to declutter--my mind and my desk before I can begin.