Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Today, It's My Choice

"...we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." Alcoholics Anonymous p. 62 ...I had played a part in the way my life turned out...My decisions had been based on fear, pride or ego...I am responsible for my action--or inaction--whatever the consequences may be. Daily Reflections p. 78
This is pretty heavy stuff I read today. After I lowered the book, I looked across the room at the dusty floor illuminated by the morning sun. My living room --the whole house really-- needs cleaning; I keep putting it off-- I am too tired or in too much pain or too sad or I just don't give a damn, which is the case for many things in my life. It has been too easy to blame circumstances --of my life and my emotions-- for things undone. Certainly there are good reasons for confusion in our lives but the bottom line is that we are still making choices and have to accept the consequences-- grieving or not.
I am ready for spring so I chose the picture of St. Francis watching over tulips and daffodils in my flower bed.
CWCW: Well, I didn't clean the living room, but I cleaned the kitchen, picked up some things in the yard and removed mulch from around a rose bush. I tackled a stack of papers on the desk, filing some away and putting others in an action file. There are things I promised to do and cards I need to send, I have to declutter--my mind and my desk before I can begin.

1 comment:

  1. Hi girlfriend, have had you in my prayers so often lately. To heck with the dust bunnies and clutter, it ain't goin anywhere. You are a very gifted artist and you will soon be able to hire some help. Meanwhile, keep trudgin it to meetings, and you will be getting your daily bread and we need to see your courage. got a knee going out on me too, pain, pain, pain, yuk, personal power is about making choices based on experience, and intuition, which gives me a lot of freedom and peace of mind. no regrets, I have tools now that I did not have then, just a disease that I did not know I had. love you, Sandi