Today I have a better outlook. My problem was that I had trouble accepting the doctor's diagnosis and was kicking against the restraints. I don't apologize for it because it is part of the process of moving from point A to point B. So I decided that if surgery might vastly improve my life than I need to explore that option thoroughly before rejecting it out right. I do not want to live this way--not when there may be a way out. I am awaiting on a call from the doctor to schedule an appointment to discuss this. So meanwhile, I am going to relax, work on the portfolio and make plans for the evening.