Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Recovering a Sense of Possibility


"One of the chief barriers to accepting God's generosity is our limited notion of what we are in fact able accomplish. We may tune in to the voice of the creator within, hear a message--and then discount it as crazy or impossible. On the one hand, we take ourselves very seriously and don't want to look like idiots pursuing some patently grandiose scheme. On the other hand, we don't take ourselves--or God--seriously enough and so we define as grandiose many schemes that with God's help, may fall well within our grasp." Julia Cameron The Artist's way

It all begins and ends with what goes on in my mind. I inherited a legacy of negativity from my family of origin and found elements of it in my marriage. It has always deeply affected how I thought, decided and processed things; it has affected my outlook, prevented me from taking risks and colored my life with considerable blackness. I have to choose--deliberately, consciously choose-- how I am going to live: Positively or negatively, which is it going to be? They both can't live in the same moment. I am getting better at this, but at some point during the day, the reality of some things in my life may overwhelm me to the point of tears. However, that is only temporary and I can at any point start my day over and choose the "sense of possibility" where light, laughter and health dwell.

CWCW: I was so blessed today. A friend came over and cleaned and mopped the kitchen and vacuumed the living room; she did thorough job. I spent the evening hanging out with my room mate while she quilted and I ironed, doing up half a basket of linens and blouses that have been there awhile. Part of setting things in order in my new life. The companionship of both friends is priceless.

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